Making Toast

As I wirte I am running SERIOUSLY late. I've been so, late I mean, since I realized that punctuality is not a mandate but a choice at work. Though still under probation, my work ethics are as solid as the old-time regulars...completely beyond contempt.

I vow to make blogging an everyday thing now, as I had last year, when it didn't dawn on me yet that my risk at being ployed at is increasing by the minute (as I used to blog every minute...not an exaggeration sometimes.) The inspiration of blogging everyday came from a random desire to email my bestfriend Nadine this morning. It was 15 minutes after I turned on the water dispenser and I was supposed to pour myself a glass of the blasted thing when I noticed the massive empty water gallon sitting on top of the dispenser. What did I expect? I have enjoyed ironies even if they seem to emerge for the sole purpose of spiting me, or in this case, have me shaking to the bones for, once again, being 30 minutes late. Hmm...come to think of it, ironies' sole purpose has always been to spite people, hasn't it? Anyhow, I proceeded with grace (surprisingly so) and plugged in the small water heater beside the bloody dispenser, marched to the room and allowed blogging history to take its rightful place in my life once again.

That was reason number 1. I've reserved a more significant reason than that first one.

Yesterday, I found out I was a type four by Enneagram standards. A type four is an individualist. An individualist is the worst possible creature that you could welcome into your life. Well, one of the worsts anyway. As we've established before, I simply do not have the luxury of time to do the tell-all on individualists (assuming of course that you're gebuinely trying to catch on because you're interested), I'll just give you the liberty to click follow this link: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFourOverview.asp

My water's done and I am off.

Specifically giving ourselves time to think would bear much fruit in the end. "Find out who you are...and do it on purpose." is one adage we should live by.

Sometimes we put off too many things, my bestfriend said. What's more sickening is the thought that we are putting off the more significant things in our lives such as finding out who we truly are, knowing what fuels us, taking the time to put ourselves in other people's shoes or simply being ourselves without a care at all of who's watching.

We bring too many potatoes in our bags. Most have gone rotten, some, without a doubt, would suffer the same fate.

I love writing and I wish I could share myself with the world I know. But exposing one's self to people one loves and knows one well makes one vulnerable to rejection, harsh criticisms and eventually pain. That's a risk I'm not willing to take right now.

There are no right or wrong decisions. What matters is that we're prepared to face the consequences of our actions. As I am not prepared to face the pain that follows after one reveals oneself. I'll just be for now. I'll just be for now.